November 8, 2007

The Depth of One’s mind

Posted in Experimentation tagged life, stream of conscience at 7:30 pm by undrthstrs

” Not everything that is faced can be changed, But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

~James Baldwin

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve done this activity, oh never mind, I enjoy it. I feel as though I’m too negative about everything. I just started feeling this way recently; I don’t know if it’s because of the argument I had with my sister last night, maybe it’s my mom falling ill or it could be my friend calling me so upset that he was threatening to kill himself. I don’t understand how things can get that bad all at once. How am I supposed to deal with my own personal issues and those of my friends? I mean I’m glad they trust me enough to come to me with their problems but everyone can’t expect me to be this bright, cheery person. It’s all just overwhelming. I want everything to be easy for everyone but I know that’s not how life works. I want everyone to be happy but there are too many other emotions. I want peace but there will always be arguments. I want illness to disappear but there will always be death.

Recent events in my life drove me to take this solemn approach to a journal entry involving the stream of consciousness. I write this way in my personal journal at night but this seemed like a good opportunity to just let it out. When I reread my entry I look at myself in a different light. I know that there are things out there that I can’t change, no one can. Someone who can take those problems that others have and manage them with one owns is a very strong individual. I have my moments where I can’t handle everything on my plate. I also see from this entry that I have some things that I need to change about myself. I don’t want people to think of me as someone who is pessimistic about everything, because I’m not. I really like doing this “free-write-esque” things, it helps clear my mind, and sound like a typical teenager.

: D

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